Tangled Branches, Roots and Shoots

Well, I’m not really sure where to start. A lot has happened in the past couple of months and in many ways it feels like, for me personally, a watershed has been reached. I turned 30 this November – a ripe old age that I’m frankly surprised I survived to. I’ve left TDN in any official capacity, having just completed a significant web project with them. And I’m leaving the magpie name behind. In terms of who I am, I don’t think it adequately describes me. Ten years ago, maybe five or even two years ago, I think it did. But now? Not at all. What started as not much more than a nickname and a brushing with totemism (with very little understanding of what that meant) became an identity which at first was right – a fair description of my temperament and character. Lately, it’s been increasingly something of a straight-jacket.

Perhaps I should design a symbol. Or become AFKAM.

But no. J, Jay or Jamie is fine in future, thanks. As is “oi”, and other related terms.

Wedding plans continue apace, and we’re looking good to make our original schedule. It’s nice to have time to breathe and actually be excited about it.

It’s very firmly and definitely a winding down time at the moment. Reducing the commitments and energy going in a million different directions and refocussing it back at home is having some interesting and strange effects on me. Who’dathunkit? I’m better able to cope when I’m taking the reins into my own hands, and not being led by any third party.

I’m actually looking forward to the coming year – something I’m really not used to!

At last, I’ve got around to making a blog post But that’s not why I’m feeling brave.

The reason is, for the first time since my little stay in hospital in February, I’ve worn a skirt to work! That may not seem like much to some people, but for me is a huge thing.

People can see my legs!

That’s something I’ve been afraid of for ages. Since February I’ve been keeping my legs covered up, I felt like my silly limping walk was bad enough, without drawing attention to it by showing off my long legs. Even though my walking is improving, I’m still very aware that I don’t quite look right.

So I’ve been wearing jeans and scruffy looking clothes for ages now, hoping that if I look dull enough no one will notice me – the slightly disabled looking girl, skulking around the town.

Not anymore, today I’m wearing a smart little dress and suit jacket. I’ve already been stared at by work colleagues and had someone walk up to me and say “You’ve got legs, I’ve not seen them before!”

It feels a bit strange and I know it’ll take a while to feel less self conscious, but I’m glad I’m doing it. I’m determined to be able to walk down the street with my head held high.

Hello

What a weekend! Dafydd arrived on Friday afternoon, earlier than expected, which meant some hurried washing up. Having been stopped by some of the local police, who wanted to know what he was doing with a tent on a motorbike (camping?!), he was in dire need of tea. Tassja arrived scant seconds later, and we spent the evening chilling out.

Saturday morning we awoke to find Dafydd’s bike stolen. We called the police, and scoured the local area, but to no avail. So far, even having checked the CCTV, it’s not been found

Not to be deterred, we headed up to the Wenallt, to take in some of the local scenery.

A quick visit to the top of Caerphilly Mountain, and then home left us absolutely shattered. Tomorrow morning Dafydd has to go home, but I think I can say that the weekend’s already been an adventure. It would have been even without Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, this afternoon

Go see

It’s all getting a bit much. Managing the forums at TDN, the Learning project there, and helping them create a brand new website is just taking up… well, everything. It’s getting to the point that I give it more time than anything else in my life, so something has to change.

Last night, Tassja asked if it was okay to email the committee at TDN to get some changes happening. What we’ve suggested before is that she take over the admin of the forums, while I get some rest from them in order to devote more energy to the web project. This morning we had the go ahead for that, so we expect to make a forum announcement this evening.

Personally, I’m just relieved. The forums have been wearing me down for a while, now. I love them, I really do, but I think I need a break. It’s bad when they stop me sleeping.

In other news – babysitting’s pretty cool! We got to do some on Saturday night, with Tassja’s niece and nephew. It woke up all sorts of memories in me, but none of it felt bad, which I think is a first time in the last four years. Who knows where this could lead?
I seem to have rediscovered Anthrax. The band that is, not the virus. I shall use it to combat the foolish people who insist on parking their cars outside our house at 3am, and playing gansta (c)rap at about 7,000 decibels. May their sub woofers rot and their Vauxhall Novas rust.

Right. Back to the grindstone for me – I’ve got a project plan to write, don’tchaknow?

ttfn!