Tuesday, August 8th, 2006
It’s all getting a bit much. Managing the forums at TDN, the Learning project there, and helping them create a brand new website is just taking up… well, everything. It’s getting to the point that I give it more time than anything else in my life, so something has to change.
Last night, Tassja asked if it was okay to email the committee at TDN to get some changes happening. What we’ve suggested before is that she take over the admin of the forums, while I get some rest from them in order to devote more energy to the web project. This morning we had the go ahead for that, so we expect to make a forum announcement this evening.
Personally, I’m just relieved. The forums have been wearing me down for a while, now. I love them, I really do, but I think I need a break. It’s bad when they stop me sleeping.
In other news – babysitting’s pretty cool! We got to do some on Saturday night, with Tassja’s niece and nephew. It woke up all sorts of memories in me, but none of it felt bad, which I think is a first time in the last four years. Who knows where this could lead? 
I seem to have rediscovered Anthrax. The band that is, not the virus. I shall use it to combat the foolish people who insist on parking their cars outside our house at 3am, and playing gansta (c)rap at about 7,000 decibels. May their sub woofers rot and their Vauxhall Novas rust.
Right. Back to the grindstone for me – I’ve got a project plan to write, don’tchaknow?
ttfn!
Posted in Family Life, Random | 4 Comments »
Sunday, July 30th, 2006
For those that don’t already know me, you soon will. I’m Tassja, the woman that agreed to marry J (without him drugging me). When I get a bit more time and I feel like writing, I might put up an “about me”page to give people an idea of what I’m like. Though I’m sure my posts on here will do a fine job of scaring people off
Since I’ll be joining the Wiseman’s next year and our branches will become tangled, J has very kindly given me access to his blog, which I suppose is now our blog. Crazy guy
Thank you J. I love you so very much and you really do make me very happy 
Right, so what’s been going on?
Well, a couple of weekends ago J’s lovely parents came to visit. That was a great fun day involving a visit to Castle Coch, a place I’d not been to since I was a child. It felt good to be able to take them to a place which I have strong childhood memories of.
Later that day we went to the Cardiff Bay Barrage, a place I’ve always loved sitting and watching the boats come and go. I find it so relaxing. Though the water does smell rather a lot, but that’s what happens when you make a big lake filled with river water that’s flowed through a city
We finished the day with going for a meal at one of my old haunts, The Deri Inn. A rather cute place to eat at which normally does yummy food. Though it’s not so great when they deliver your starter and main at the same time, oops
Then last weekend J’s brother came to stay with us. I really enjoyed it. It was a good chance to get to know each other more and have fun. Though I’m not sure how he felt being dragged through the city to the museum. I was rather asleep on my feet that day.
Quite possibly one of the most exciting things for me recently, was a phone call from my Dad. At his wife’s suggestion he phoned me to urge me to go to the shop where the wedding dress I wanted was in the sale and phone them from there so they could pay for it over the phone. I’m so very happy to have my dress bought for me by them, as well as having it safely hanging up in the bedroom. It makes it all feel much more real. I’ll admit that I was very worried that I’d not get the dress. It’s the only wedding dress I tried on and I loved it straight away. I knew it was the one for me.
Well, that’s enough for now. No doubt as soon as I publish this I’ll think of other things I could have said, but never mind.
Posted in Family Life | 2 Comments »
Saturday, July 29th, 2006
It’s been a while in the making, but this weekend two big changes have occurred on this site. Firstly, if you’re accessing it directly, you’ll notice the snazzy theme change. This is because I’m making a move away from Moveable Type as a blog engine, and have chosen WordPress as my platform of choice. It gives the site a new degree of flexibility, allowing things like static pages to be added, as well as more users to make posts. It should also drastically reduce the amount of spam I’ve been getting.
Secondly, well… I’ll just let that change happen by itself. You’ll see
One of the changes that’s filtered through has been a reflection of a change in myself. This blog used to be called ‘Keeping the Blood’, which was perhaps a reflection of the importance of blood-ties, to me. But recently I’ve been shown a new understanding of family and tribe, which while in no way lacks love or awareness of relationship, has nothing whatsoever to do with blood ties (which in their own turn have very little to do with genetic relationship). I’ve not forgotten my physical, blood relationships at all. But the new emphasis is more about inclusion rather than a narrow honouring of purely blood relations.
I’m really not sure how much of that makes sense. But still, it’s nice to change. Tangled Branches, Roots and Shoots. Tassja said it sounds like an embracing of past and present, while acknowledging the possibility of the future. I’m inclined to agree. Trees don’t have to be the same species or family to tangle branches, and live in relationship. Roots and Shoots are where they come from, and where they’re going. Maybe this space could reflect a little of those sentiments.
Posted in Family Life | 4 Comments »
Thursday, June 15th, 2006
Well, some will know, and others not, that on Sunday Tassja agreed to marry me. Poor girl. Of course, I’m deliriously happy, not least because I didn’t have to drug her first!
In all seriousness, she makes me very happy. She’s honest and thoughtful and tirelessly imaginative. I’m very, very lucky.
We’re planning to hold our wedding next summer, somewhere in Scotland. We have a celebrant apparently eager to work with us (thank you, Potia!), and we’re lucky in that she’s one of few registered pagan celebrants in the country.
The law in Scotland is slightly different to England and Wales, in that as long as a celebrant is registered to be a legal registrar, the wedding service can be performed anywhere. A Scottish General Registrar page lays it all out thus:
There is no legally prescribed form of words to be used in relation to ‘marriage vows’ in Scotland. The attached is a guide to the form a civil marriage ceremony might take (Civil Marriage – Example of the Form of Ceremony 61 Kb pdf file) and registrars are more than happy to confirm in advance the form of words to be used during the ceremony. In a religious marriage ceremony, the approved celebrant must not solemnise a marriage except in accordance with a form of ceremony which includes and is no way inconsistent with
a. a declaration by the parties, in the presence of each other, the celebrant and two witnesses, that they accept each other as husband and wife; and
b. a declaration by the celebrant, after the foregoing declaration, that the parties are then husband and wife.
General Register Office for Scotland – Getting married in Scotland – What form does a marriage ceremony take in Scotland?
Note that the above example file is just an example. I would certainly hope that our wedding doesn’t come across as dry as that!
So what about ours? How will it be? I know that some of our friends and family may have some concerns about it being a different sort of wedding, so I’m hoping to answer some questions here.
Is a pagan wedding or a handfasting still legal? I thought it was just pretend.
In many cases, pagan couples choose to forgo the legal requirement for a wedding, making it more of an informal arrangement or a partnership. Some even agree to renew their handfasting after a year and a day. This has a historical basis in that many people couldn’t afford a church wedding, and so chose to make their partnership official in the eyes of their community, without the need for intercession by an official body. Nowadays, there are more strict legal requirements on a wedding contract in England and Wales, such as it being recognised by an Anglican priest, or an official Registrar. In Scotland the requirements are slightly more relaxed – the service doesn’t need to be held in a registered building, for example.
All that said, our wedding will be carried out by a registrar, and so will be a “legal” wedding, and not just pretend.
What goes on at a pagan wedding? Will there be naked dancing and drunken revelry?
Even at the wildest ceremonies I’ve attended, there’s not been naked dancing, and certainly no more drunken revelry than your average wedding! That said, neither Tassja or myself drink, so we’re unlikely to want to get out of control. As for what form the wedding itself will take – most pagan ceremonies are performed standing or sitting in a circle. They’re also almost always outdoors. They can take many forms, since paganism is a very individual spirituality. Often, there are no direct references to specific deity (or deities), and partners are asked to make vows on “that which they hold most sacred”. Almost always, though, the powers of the natural world are honoured.
Will I have to dress up?
If you like! It’s going to be a special day, and on special days, it’s nice to wear special clothes. It may be worth bearing in mind, though, that we’ll be outdoors, and footwear can be an issue. I have a feeling Tassja and myself will be barefoot
Is it okay for me to join in, even though I’m a Christian, an Atheist, or a member of another faith community?
Absolutely! In my eyes, spirituality is something to be respected in people, no matter what their beliefs. More than that, it’s sacred. To me, the divine is about imminence. It is hard to deny the warmth of the sun on your face, the inherent energy in that warmth, whether you believe the Sun to be God’s creation, a deity in itself, the bringer of warmth and light to our planet, or a large ball of reacting hydrogen and helium atoms. I would ask that you bring your faith with you to our wedding, and honour us with your presence, and with the presence of that which you hold as sacred. I would not ask that anyone change any part of themselves or their beliefs, and would hope that all can be included and accomodated.
There are more details to follow, since we’re only just planning now. If anyone has any specific questions, comments are welcome, as are emails.
Peace out
technorati tags:wedding
Posted in Community, Family Life, Indigenous Spirit | 7 Comments »